They say this world is made up of ten thousand joys and ten thousand sorrows. Both are part of the human experience, and both are the curriculum we’ve been given for opening to all of life and fully awaken. In this world of duality there is birth and death, sunsets and tsunamis, love and hate. I like to see it as a grand recycling plan: things come into being for a while, then release their present form to become part of something new. And part of the game is that life feeds on life. Is it wrong for a tiger to catch a gazelle? For a mosquito to bite? They’re simply using what life has given them to survive.
But something is different between us and most species. Human beings have an inborn sense of care that reaches beyond our immediate circle, even to other species. It shows up remarkably early. In one well-known study, toddlers watched an experimenter hang laundry on a clothesline and “accidentally” drop a clothespin he seemed unable to reach. Almost every child tried to help, even when it was difficult or meant interrupting their play. We’re wired to care.
The Buddha taught that suffering has its roots in greed, hatred, and confusion, and that genuine happiness has its roots in generosity, kindness, and clarity.
Integrity is the foundation of inner peace. There’s something in us that feels off when we’re about to harm someone. If we’re aware enough, we notice the disturbance of guilt or regret when we act with cruelty, and the natural expansion and well-being when we act with kindness or generosity. We come equipped with a conscience. It’s amazing how many of us override it, and suffer, because wanting or aversion shouts louder than what we know is truly good for us.
The way the game is designed, each of us has the capacity for both meanness and kindness. Alexander Solzhenitsyn put it this way:
“If only it were so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart? ”
Seeing this is humbling. It’s also an invitation to grow in compassion, to move from self-righteousness to humility.
That’s why the Buddha’s teaching on Wise Effort is so practical: weaken the unwholesome states and cultivate the beautiful ones.
We’re nourished when we cultivate the good, especially when we recognize the goodness in ourselves and celebrate it with gratitude. Then we can genuinely rejoice in others, as we look more and more for the light shining through them.
We can also nourish our goodness by receiving it, by letting in the kindness and love that come our way. For some time now, one of my main practices has been to be fully present for any goodwill directed toward me: a held door, a friendly smile, a simple “Hi, how are you?” I try to take in that person’s goodwill, and even to see them as an agent of life letting me know I am loved, and worthy of that kindness.
In these times of so much hatred and divisiveness, let’s nourish ourselves by being present for the goodness within us and the goodness all around us, and let our own light shine. I believe this is a secret to true happiness, and to Awakening Joy.
If this speaks to you, I’d love to have you join us for Awakening Joy, now in its 25th year.