Shining Our Light in Difficult Times
At this time of year in the Northern Hemisphere, we celebrate light because it is the time of greatest darkness. The winter solstice marks the moment we are farthest from the sun in our orbit, a time we acknowledge the dark with holidays that celebrate the light, such as Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Yalda, an ancient Persian solstice celebration.
Darkness is sacred within itself. The Yin Yang symbol shows that light and darkness are both parts of the whole, pointing to the unity of all things. Even so, darkness is often associated with obscuration, while light is seen as clarity and understanding. The Bible begins with God’s first act of creation, “Let there be light.” The Buddha said, “Make of yourself a light.” His final words are “Be a lamp unto yourself.”
We can celebrate light not only in nature but also within ourselves and within each other, particularly in these gloomy times. No matter how difficult things get, this time of celebration encourages us to tune into all that is good. That helps us hold the hard stuff. Joanna Macy, Buddhist scholar, environmental activist, and author, exhorts us to start with gratitude for all the good in order to help us hold all the pain of the world.
The recent hate crimes in Australia and the U.S., and the tragic murder of Rob and Michelle Reiner, shook many of us to the core. Donald Trump’s cruel response made it even harder. I was appalled by his lack of empathy while being frustrated that he has so much power. Being disgusted by cruel words and actions, and labeling them as evil, is understandable. However, when I bring deeper wisdom and compassion to my understanding of such people. I see evil in terms of ignorance, as a twisted mind that has been trained to practice hatred and cruelty.
The words “You Have to be Carefully Taught” in Rogers and Hammerstein’s “South Pacific” remind me of the conditioning many people experience:
You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear,
You’ve got to be taught from year to year,
It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear—
You’ve got to be carefully taught!
You’ve got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a different shade—
You’ve got to be carefully taught.
You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate—
You’ve got to be carefully taught!
Mary Trump explained the reason her uncle is the way he is:
“[It’s] actually pretty simple: Even though Donald was the preferred child of my grandfather—and by preferred, I mean most useful to him, the most useful in advancing his own agenda—my grandfather and my grandmother rendered Donald unlovable…The only thing, the thing he most desperately wants in his life, is to be loved. He never has been sufficiently. He never will be. That is an impossible thing for him to achieve…[He] is constantly trying to fill a void that cannot be filled.”
We might wish there was no ignorance in the world, but we aren’t living in the Heavenly Realms. We’re here to learn what being human is all about. In a very mysterious way, we live in a world with love and hate, clarity and ignorance. There is a saying in Taoism:
When a wise person hears the Tao they practice diligently.
When an average person hears the Tao they wobble.
When a foolish person hears the Tao they laugh.
And yet if such a one did not laugh, the Tao would not be the Tao.
To be raised with love or exposed to teachings that awaken kindness and compassion is extremely fortunate. When I think of all the people in the world who have not had that good fortune, who have been brought up with fear and hatred, I understand those profound words, “There but for the grace of God, go I.”
Instead of incredulously saying to myself, “Why do they act that way!”, in clearer moments I ask with curiosity, “Why do they act that way?” And I realize how truly blessed I am. I’m humbled even more when I feel that same hatred within me. From Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Russian author and dissident who helped to raise global awareness of political repression in the Soviet Union:
“If only there were evil people insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of their own heart?”
Robert Bly writes, “Every part of our personality that we do not learn to love will become hostile to us.” Not learning to embrace or accept our own pettiness, fear, or hatred, we call others the bad guys when we see it in them. Rather than judging ourselves for feeling these emotions, our task is to see all of those parts in ourselves with understanding rather than burying them.
When we see that the mind can be shaped in any way, it begins to remove the blame and helps us hold it all with deep compassion. We have hatred and the capacity to hurt, just like everyone. Compassionate awareness sees that everything arises because of causes and conditions.
Our practice is to be honest with ourselves, with our humanity, and see if it’s possible to forgive ourselves. In the process of forgiving our own humanity, letting go of the blame and the shame, we can begin to do the same for everyone else.
Martin Luther King put it this way: “You have very little morally persuasive power with people who can feel your underlying contempt.”
This is a time to go within and shine the light on it all, the noble and the messy. Try noticing the parts of yourself that might not be easy to accept: your fear, your sorrow, your outrage, your sadness, your grief, your confusion. What is it for you? The more we acknowledge the emotions and reactions we try to keep hidden, the less arrogantly we look down on those who've been taught to hate.
Mindful awareness lifts the veil of obscuration, allowing us to get in touch with our true nature, which is loving, kind, compassionate, joyful and peaceful. Then we can be that light and awaken it in others.